The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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