Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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