youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
