i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
