I am puke
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.