no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone