; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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