i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
