My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
