So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
