And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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