I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
