I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
