I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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