I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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