roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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