did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
