i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
