my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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