Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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