I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
