Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
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I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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