Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
