she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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