can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
