Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
