I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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