The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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