I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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