ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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