i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
