i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
