Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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