don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize