i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
