My nipple is on Facebook.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
