Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
