I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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