the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize