"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
