I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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