so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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