There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
