Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
