lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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