So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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