But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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