I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Every concussion has its silver lining
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell