I love having hate sex.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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