She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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