david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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