Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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