You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize