South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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