took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
