Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Damn victory sex feels great
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
