i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
