help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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