Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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