Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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