They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
