I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
