i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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